Naming Problems

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Once upon a time, in a faraway land, lived a small princess with a large, pink gown. Her name was Awesomeness the Seventy-Seven Million, Two Hundred Forty-Three Thousand, Six Hundred Ninth. (I didn’t want to put that in roman numerals.) For short, everyone just called her Unicorni (even though that had nothing in common with her name.) Unicorni loved to play with unicorns. (Can you guess why?) One day, she decided that she wanted to speak to her father, the king.

“Father,” she said, “may I change my name?” Her father (with his eyes glued to his phone) replied, “Yeah, yeah, sure!” So, Unicorni decided to call herself Ms. Cool! Everywhere she went, she received funny looks from the other servants, cooks, butlers, and royal guards. Unhappy that everyone wasn’t satisfied with her name, she decided to make it longer. “I shall be named Hdjkkoiioofjseyfjkmsmxnx!” she decided with a smile.

Unfortunately, people had a hard time remembering her name. The princess was furious. “How could you not remember such a simple and easy name like that?” she screamed at one of her dinner servers. “Oh, you can remember my brother’s name, Ty, but you can’t remember something much, much simpler than that two-letter name, can you?” Later that day, her servant walked forward and said, “Err… Hdjkk- something-err-jijjgymiggy-whatever, what do you need?”

“It’s Hdjkkoiioofjseyfjkmsmxnx!” she yelled. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

Two centuries (literally) later, she finally discovered that people were having trouble remembering her name. “Ahhh!” she laughed. “So that was it! What an amazing discovery! I shall be famous for that! I bet other people wouldn’t ever figure this out!” Hdjkkoiioofjseyfjkmsmxnx then decided to call herself “Stupefy!”

Very unluckily, Harry Potter came to visit the castle. He had brought his wand, and when he met the princess, he said, “Why, hello,” and grinning, he then said, “Nice to meet you, Stupefy!” When he said the princess’s name, he used his wand and a red light missed her by inches. “Bye!” he said, and left the castle before the king could execute him.

Stupefy decided to call herself “Unicorni” again. From that day on, everyone was happy again, and Unicorni had no more naming problems.

https://www.virtual-assembly.org/uyb3smrom (Part credit goes to J.K. Rowling/Harry Potter)

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