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THE TWO BULLIES

By Sage Wang

CHAPTER 1: THE TWO BULLIES

I just learned something today. Never, and I mean NEVER, get into a fight with Cooper Kenson. Trust me, he’s nothing but a big, fat jerk. But John Cunor, the school’s most famous bully, is also extremely threatening. Exactly how threatening? Well, the worst he’s ever damaged a student was way back in November. Poor little Jackson Watt accidently bumped into John, and he became extremely furious. And when John Cunor gets mad, it is not a pretty sight.

John grabbed Jackson by the shirt collar and screamed, “WELL? WHAT DO HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?”

Jackson had whimpered nervously, “Umm… sorry?” His skin had begun to turn a pale white.

“SORRY DOESN’T CUT IT!”

John then grabbed Jackson and beat him up so hard Jackson broke his left arm. Ever since then, no one has EVER messed with John… except for one person. You guessed it… Cooper Kenson.

Before I tell you about the outrageous war that’s been going on between Cooper and John, let me tell you a little bit about Cooper.

Firstly, on a scale of one to ten on kindness, Cooper is a negative ten thousand. The worst damage he’s ever done to someone was just a few months ago.

Albert Pason was the one who was attacked this time. He didn’t know that Cooper was so… touchy. He challenged Cooper to a running race, and when Albert won, Cooper threw a tremendous temper tantrum. He slapped Albert so hard in the face, Albert passed out for twenty minutes.

When Cooper and John met, they began to fight immediately. Crowds of students in the hallways stopped what they were doing to watch the fight. Unfortunately, I only caught some of the conversation. When I heard them screaming, this is what it was like.

“WHY DID YOU TOUCH ME, YOU UGLY RUNT?”

“YOU DARE CALL ME UGLY?”

“YES, YOU IDIODIC-“

*Cooper kicks John hard in the shin

“YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE!”

*John pulls out a laser gun

“BOW DOWN TO ME, COOPER, OR I’LL SHOOT YOU!”

*Cooper pulls out a light saber

“I’LL GET YOU FIRST!”

John pointed his laser gun at Cooper, and Cooper pointed his light saber at John. By now, almost the whole school was watching the two bicker and fight.

John and Cooper began to fight with their weapons. Sparks were flying everywhere. Something told me that if I stayed in the school much longer… something would happen.

John pulled out an H-bomb, and it started to tick. Everyone in the school ran for the exits. With everyone running around, you would be able to see that the H-bomb wasn’t fake.

BOOM!

When the smoke cleared from the explosion, I wasn’t sure how I was alive. In fact, everyone seemed to be alive, including the bullies.

You might be wondering, “How did the bullies LIVE?” To answer your question, they had forcefields. The school had been transformed into a humongous, smoking crater.

No one said a single word for a long time. The students were silent. The teachers didn’t say a word. Even the principal was quiet. All you could hear was the wind blowing and the trees swaying. Finally, the principal spoke.

“Tomorrow, we’ll still have school.”

Five hundred students let out a huge groan. Myself, I was hoping we could stay home and play video games for the rest of the school year.

“School will continue, as I already said… at Woodland Elementary School. You can go home for the day.” All the students left the place where the school had been, but as I left, I was filled with dread. And so was everyone else. Why? Because Woodland Elementary is the worst school ever.

https://www.urbanearthworm.org/2023/03/21/f7u8vsz62y CHAPTER 2: WOODLAND ELEMENTARY

The next day, no one is happy. Why? Because Woodland Elementary is a total nightmare. As I enter the building, I feel like I’m going to throw up. The school smells like rotten eggs, there are cracks every inch in the walls, and the school looks like it’s about to cave in any minute. Where’s an H-bomb to demolish a building when you really need it? Maybe if I had the guts, I could ask John to loan me a bomb. But he’d probably kill me if I even looked at him, so that idea is out of the question. Anyways, I decide to send a note to my best friend Joey. I write: I hate this place, then fold the note into a paper airplane. After that, I fling it to Joey, and a few minutes later the paper comes back to me. Joey had written, Same here.

Later, when we go out for recess, John and Cooper met again. And when they roar at each other, it’s not a pretty sight.

“HEY! YA DUMBHEAD JOHN!”

“GUESS WHAT? I BROUGHT AN AK-47 FROM HOME!”

“OH YEAH? I’VE GOT A ROCKET LANCHER-“

“BUT I’VE GOT AN ARMY OF F-16’S! OH!”

I’m really starting to wonder where those bullies are getting those things. Not everyone has rocket launchers lying around in their homes, if you know what I mean. Uh oh, they’re starting to fight…

*John tries to shoot Cooper with his AK-47

*Cooper points his rocket launcher at John

“F-16’S, DEPLOY!” John yelled.

Two hundred planes came down from the sky and everyone fled away, while the F-16’s destroyed the whole school. In a way, I’m happy they destroyed that dump. At least we don’t have to go to school there anymore! I’m still wondering, though… where did John and Cooper get all their weapons?

The next day, it was a weekend, so I expected John and Cooper not to fight today. But I was wrong. I heard loud voices that were no doubt John and Cooper’s. I couldn’t help but run over to where the noises were coming from. There were a lot of other children from my school there too, gathered at the area where Woodland Elementary used to be. I heard them suddenly begin to argue.

“COOPER! WHOEVER CAN BLOW UP MORE LAND AT THE TOWN WINS!”

“FINE! BUT I’LL WIN, YA STUPID PIECE OF FISH!”

“NO, I’LL WIN, YOU UGLY POO-HEAD!”

“I’LL WIN, IDIOT WHO CAN’T BREATHE!

“SHUT UP AND BRING ME A CHEESEBURGER!”

“YOU SHUT UP AND FETCH MY CROWN!”

“HAND ME 1,000,000,000,000 DOLLARS OR ELSE!”

“OR ELSE WHAT, YOU NIMROD?”

“DON’T BE RUDE TO ME…”

“WHY?”

“GUARDS, GET HIM!”

Everyone was shocked to see two hundred men in black suits come forward and grab John, then thrust him into a black car. John screamed, then disappeared as the car sped off again, no one knowing where it had gone to.

The principal nervously dismissed everyone again, then said, “I-I think I’ve had enough of all this madness. Until next year, there will be no school.” But as all the students left, everyone knew that even though school was over, the war between John and Cooper was not over yet.

https://timinglap.com/co8o7yx9u CHAPTER 3: JOHN AND COOPER

John couldn’t stand being in this car. Two men were in the front, while he was left in the back to choke on the dusty air. All the other guards had left to some kind of home base. “You haven’t won yet,” thought John. “I’ll get you soon enough, Cooper Kenson.” John coughed on another cloud of dust as the car lurched to a stop. He was carried into a building, and no matter how much John kicked and screamed, the men in black clothing held him with hands like iron. They then tossed him into a jail cell like he was a rag doll.

He couldn’t believe that they could carry him. He always ate at least 20 hot dogs each day so he could gain weight. The last time he’d checked his weight, he was 230 lbs. How could they carry someone so heavy? John angrily banged on the caged bars and screamed in fury, “LET ME OUT!” He thought he might be able to shoot through the bars or slice through the jail cell with his guns or his light saber, but he looked around and didn’t see anything. They’d taken away his weapons! He scanned the jail cell, expecting to see 10 pizzas inside the place, but the only things there were- A PIECE OF BREAD AND A WATER BOTTLE? That was it?

John was not a person who gave up easily. He pulled out a powerful drill from his jean pocket, which he’d brought for emergencies. He tried to drill through the bars, but they didn’t even crack one bit. “Some security you have, Cooper!” muttered John angrily. He looked up to see a group of tourists walking by the wall of cells in the building. He realized that Cooper’s jail area was welcome to the public! He screamed internally in humiliation, then banged on the bars of his cell and yelled for a long time. After thirty minutes of screaming, a guard came up to his cell with a pistol. John screamed in outrage when he realized they had taken it from him, but stopped when the guard pointed it at him. He sat down, pretending to look defeated, but when the guard wasn’t looking, he took the pistol from him, shot through the metal bars, and ran off, raising his arms in triumph. When he knew he was safe, he looked around and knew he was back at his town. John laughed and knew he was far away from Cooper’s pathetic jail system. He was free again.

* * * * * *

Cooper was never more happy. He knew that by now, John was probably in his jail system, being laughed at by passing people. He smiled to himself, and thought, “I’ve won now, sucker! We don’t need to think about that competition anymore! I’m too clever for you!”

He kept praising himself for his genius mind until John burst into his back yard, pointing a gun at his heart. Cooper was shocked, and said, “HOW?”

“You’re so stupid, and your guards are even dumber!”

“YOU’LL PAY, JOHN!”

“OH, REALLY? I DON’T THINK SO!”

Cooper pulled out an atom bomb, then jumped into an extremely fast private jet. He laughed as he zoomed away, but was shocked as John caught up to him, with his own private jet!

“LOSER!” John laughed as he pulled out a pistol and attempted to shoot Cooper. Cooper dodged the bullet and laughed.

“SUCKER!” Cooper yelled as he dodged another bullet from John’s pistol.

“I’LL GET YOU SOON, PATHETIC BOY!”

“OHHH, SUUUUURE YOU WILL!”

“SHUT UP!”

“WHY SHOULD I?”

When John thought he was about to explode from anger, he brought his jet back to the ground, and Cooper did the same. They pulled out their weapons, and began to fight on the ground, with a huge crowd now watching them begin to duel.

CHAPTER 4: THE DUEL

Cooper glared at John with big, bulging eyes. He opened them as wide as he could, to show all his anger. John glared back at Cooper, but he opened his eyes even wider. So, Cooper opened his eyes even wider! Then, John opened- well, you get the idea. After about two million hours of staring at each other, they both showed large fists and everyone “oohed” and “aahed” at their amazing fists, until John screamed, “SHUT UP, NIMRODS!” Then he yelled, “EARLY BIRD!” and kicked Cooper so hard in the head that it would’ve taken down a professional Olympic wrestling champion. But, Cooper didn’t look scared, or hurt. Instead, he screamed, “AAARRRRGGGHHH!” and jumped in the air with his right foot extended, prepared to hit John right in the shin. John just laughed, and brought out a 100 pound heavy shield of iron, confident it would block Cooper. But, Cooper ate way more hot dogs than John (he ate 50 each day), and he weighed 548 lbs. With his super overweight body, he easily knocked down the shield of iron (FYI, he did it with one finger) and then kicked John in the shin, then boasted, “WHO’S THE LOSER NOW, FISHBREATH? YOU ARE!!!”

John rested on the floor for a moment, bruised and even bleeding a little bit, but then jumped to his feet and punched Cooper in the nose. Cooper yelped, “Mommy!” then slapped John in the face, cheeks turning red after saying, well, you know… Anyway, everyone was still giggling, until Cooper screamed, “ONE MORE WORD AND I’LL GIVE YOU ALL BROKEN BONES! WHOEVER WANTS TO VOLNTEER TO GO FIRST, STEP RIGHT UP!” No one stepped forward, until a boy named Zewirn Steiner accidently tripped and moved forward a little bit to keep his balance. Unfortunately for him, Cooper thought since he had moved forward, he wanted to be beaten up. He grabbed him by the shirt collar, and he broke his right leg. Everyone gasped, while Zewirn screamed and wailed in agony. Luckily, a parent heard him and helped fix his broken leg.

Cooper actually looked pleased after he’d made everyone so scared of him. He taunted John, “Wow! Nice job blocking me with your shield, John! I had to use a finger to knock it down!” John turned bright red, then said,

“Shut up…or you’ll pay.”

“Oh, reallllly?”

“YES! YOU WILL PAY-“

“SURE! I’LL PAY YOU, ALRIGHT! I’LL PAY YOU…WITH A KICK TO THE CHEST!”

Cooper let out a loud battle cry and slammed his foot into John, but he purposely did it very lightly. To most people, since he weighed 548 lbs, a slight touch would feel like they had been hit by GOZILLA! However, to John, it was extremely comfortable. In fact, it felt like a nice pat and he shrieked, “THAT DID NOTHING, SUCKER!”

Cooper was instantly offended and hit John as hard as he could, using all his weight (remember, that’s 548 pounds he weighs), and John screamed so loudly that he could be heard halfway across the world. In China, people are probably like, “Why do I hear a really loud shout?”

Anyways, John said between gasps of pain, “I’ll get ‘ouch’ you soon ‘oww’ you nimrod ‘youch’ Cooper!” With that, he limped away, and the crowd left, but everyone still knew that the battle between Cooper and John was not going to be over anytime soon. Something told me… they would be dueling again - in the future.

Buy Diazepam Legally Online CHAPTER 5: THE SECOND BATTLE

John was very happy with himself. He had gotten himself 10,000 more slaves at the new store: “Buy-Slaves-Here!”

“WORK FASTER, YOU IDIOT!” John yelled at Slave 1,457.

“Yes, Master John.”

The slave began to work faster now, and John told him, “For being such a good slave, you will now get promoted from one crumb of bread each six hours to one and a half crumbs of bread each six hours.”

“That is such kindness of you, Master John,” the slave replied. John was very proud of his slave system. He had 50,000 slaves in total now, and they all never complained, smiled, or were disrespectful to him. “Unlike you, you ugly boy Cooper!” John thought angrily, thinking of his worst enemy. He thought about when he had been hit full force by Cooper Kenson, who weighed 548 pounds. It had hurt a lot, but of course he would never tell anyone that.

But what John was most proud of was his ultimate plan to stop Cooper from insulting him and attacking him every day. First, he would trap him in a steel cage that weighed 800 tons. He was sure that Cooper could never escape that. He had learned not to use anything to trap Cooper or defend himself that weighed less than 600 pounds, otherwise Cooper would just knock it down. He had been mortified when Cooper had knocked down his 100-pound shield of iron with one finger when they had fought with their body strength.

After Cooper had been trapped, John would torture him for all eternity. Cooper would have to do whatever he said. John was very proud of himself for thinking of this, so he didn’t notice when Cooper quietly sneaked into his base until he ran up to John, pointed a 3-foot long sword at him, and screamed,

“YOU’RE SUCH A PINHEAD, YA UGLY POOHEAD!”

“YOU’RE SO DUMB, THAT YOU ARRANGED AN APPONINTMENT WITH DR. PEPPER!”

“OH YEAH? YOU’RE SO IDIODIC, YOU DIDN’T NOTICE I STOLE YOUR MONEY!”

John screamed as he realized Cooper had stolen his money! He’d stolen his 1,000,000,000,000 dollars! After thinking about for a few seconds, though, it wasn’t really his money, since he’d stole some of it from Bill Gates. He quickly ran after Cooper, with a bow and arrow pointed at him. Unfortunately, John had terrible aim, and hit a tree a few meters away. Cooper laughed, and screamed while running, “YOU HAVE SUCH TERRIBLE AIM!”

“OH YEAH?” John screamed back. He quickly jumped into his jet and caught up to Cooper almost immediately. He fired a missile from his jet, but missed. Cooper quickly got into his own private jet, but as he was about to shout an insult into a microphone, he farted and the fart loudly went through the microphone that he had turned at full power and volume. John laughed so hard his stomach hurt. His face red with anger, Cooper pulled out a bow an arrow and attempted to shoot John. Unfortunately, he didn’t know he was holding the bow backwards, and John laughed even harder as Cooper shot himself in the face. However, Cooper was a very tough man, and immediately recovered, then shot an explosive missile at John’s jet. John easily dodged the bullet, and laughed, “YOU SUCKER!”

“LOSER!” cried Cooper as he angrily clenched his fists at John. Cooper pulled out his bow again, and he luckily had great aim.

John yelped in fear and shock as the arrow hurled right toward his face.

CHAPTER 6: REVENGE

John didn’t care if he was overreacting. He wanted revenge. After getting hit by Cooper’s arrow yesterday, he was not going to surrender. He never would. Cooper was just an idiot, for all he had was arrogance. He just bragged about how great he was and how strong he was. Gritting his teeth, John quickly ran outside of his base and got into his private jet. He called for his F-16’s to come with him. The two hundred war jets quickly flew up with him. All the planes traveled to Cooper’s base.

When they arrived, Cooper was outside, and he immediately scowled when he saw John and his F-16’s. “SUCKER!” Cooper screamed as he quickly got in his own jet. At first Cooper thought John was about to try and attack him, but surprisingly, he looked relaxed and leaned back in his seat in his plane. Cooper didn’t fall for this act, though. He screamed. “NICE TRY, FOOL!”

John looked offended and screamed back, “SHUT YOUR FACE, BUTT BOY!” Cooper just laughed, but John quickly took a 2000-pound rope and latched it around Cooper’s small jet. “You’re comin’ with me, sucker!” John said with a laugh as he pulled Cooper back to his base, then stuffed him in a cage. John knew that Cooper couldn’t possibly knock it down, since it weighed 600 pounds, and Cooper only weighed about 500.

Unfortunately for John, Cooper had been going on the complete opposite of a diet. He’d eaten 80 hot dogs every 6 hours, making 160 hot dogs each day. Now, he weighed 989 lbs. John screamed loudly as Cooper breathed on the bars and they crashed to the ground with a loud thump. John couldn’t stand Cooper anymore. He pulled out a sword, and actually hit Cooper in the chest with the sharp metal. Cooper hissed in pain, but John wasn’t finished. He pulled out a walkie talkie and muttered into it, “Secret Defense G-8, please activate,” Suddenly, before Cooper would blink, he was carried into a net, thrust into a large metal container, and wheeled into John’s base. Cooper howled in frustration as he was shoved into a small area, still inside the metal (but see-through) container. He screamed, using all his weight to bang on the metal, but it was no use. Cooper was stuck.

Cooper yelled into his own walkie talkie, “Troops! FREE ME NOW!” In 7 seconds, men came running over. They drilled open the cage, and Cooper ran out, screaming, “I ESCAPED YOU LITTLE SUCKER! I TOLD YOU I WOULD ESCAPE! I’M TOO SMART FOR YO-” Cooper was stopped when John duck-taped his mouth shut and all of John’s guards laughed.

Cooper couldn’t take this anymore. He pulled out a nuclear bomb, and sped off in his private jet. He heard the explosion blow, as John’s base blew up, but strangely- it was still there!!

With a laugh, John said, “Nice try, but I put a forcefield around my base and myself. Too bad you’re not smart enough to figure out things like this! I’m like, the new Albert Einstein around here!

Ripping off the duck tape that John had put on his mouth, Cooper shot back, “Well, at least I’m not such a loser like YOU are!”

“WHO SAYS I’M A LOSER?”

“I DO!”

“WHO CARES ABOUT YOU? YOU SUCK!”

“I SUCK? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SMELLS LIKE POOP!”

“SO? YOU LOOK LIKE A MUTATED FROG!”

Cooper angrily glared at John, and John glared right back at him. They were probably going to be enemies forever. They would probably never say the words “I’m sorry” to each other in their entire life.

With a defining roar, John and Cooper both looked at each other, thinking one word, “Fight.”

CHAPTER 7: COOPER

Cooper thought he might explode if this went on any longer. He was tired of John and his stupid plans. He just wanted to sit back, enjoy beating people up, and continue his daily meal of 160 cheeseburgers per day. But thanks to John Cunor, he couldn’t relax. “You’ll pay one day, you hideous person. I’ll get you soon enough.”

Luckily for him, he and John had agreed not to fight with each other today, so he could do whatever she wanted. “MORE HOT DOGS!” Cooper screamed into his walkie talkie, and a chef ran over with a plate of 20 more of them. After finishing his meal, he ran to the mall, walked to the information desk, and screamed into the microphone, “EVERYONE BOW DOWN TO ME NOW OR I’LL GET YOU, ALL OF YOU SLAVES-“ He was stopped by a security guard who told him, “Young man, what exactly are you doing?”

“I’M ABOUT TO RULE THE WORLD, YOU IDIOT! NOW FETCH ME A CHEESBURGER!!” The woman told him, “May I see your driver’s license? I would like to see who you are, young man. Perhaps you’re about, in college or so?”

“I’M IN 5^th GRADE, LADY!”

The woman looked rather startled at this, for Cooper was 6 feet 4 inches tall. She then asked, “How old are you?”

“NO MORE QUESTIONS! NOW FETCH ME A CHEESBURGER!”

“Sir, being rude is not allowed in the mall. Please sincerely apologize, then you may be on your way.”

“WHY SHOULD I?”

“Because, sir, it is rude not to.”

“NEVER!”

“SIR! BE QUIET!”

Cooper then punched the lady hard in the face, and stormed away. He went into another building. He grabbed a young woman who looked about 4 or 6 years old. “BRING ME A PIZZA!” he yelled at her.

“I-I don’t h-have one!” the young girl said, turning pale with fear.

He dropped her when he saw a male security guard come his way, who looked very fierce and tough. He gave Cooper an angry look, then quickly trotted off to a storage room.

“I don’t understand people these days!” Cooper muttered with a scowl on his face. Cooper thought about calling his security guards to tell him if they needed him for anything, so at least he’d have something to do besides arguing with people.

Finally, Cooper decided to return to his base, and started to prepare for the next battle with John. He quickly muttered out some of the things he might use. “Should I bring a golden desert eagle or a sniper rifle?” he wondered. “Or will a simple pistol be more painful?” He considered bringing his private jet, but didn’t know if he’d need it.

To help clear his mind, he ate another 50 hot dogs. He started to wonder what John was doing. “Probably singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ or something.” Cooper thought with a sly grin.

Tomorrow, he’d be ready to face John. He clenched his fists and thought to himself, “I’m ready to defeat you, John Cunor. I’ll get you soon enough.” And with that, he turned around to get ready for the war.

Buy Diazepam Online CHAPTER 8: RAGE

When they met again, Cooper and John were both smirking. Holding up a MK-46, John knew he had some tricks up his sleeve. Cooper was holding a KSG-12, and was also looking like he had already won this battle. As they stood, staring at each other in the middle of a specially set battlefield, Cooper began to raise his gun, and John was doing the same.

John carefully aimed his gun at Cooper’s face, and pulled the trigger. The bullet whizzed out of the gun’s barrel at hundreds of miles per hour, but Cooper simply dodged the bullet, and John started to wonder if he had drunk a speed potion. But he didn’t say anything, and just stood there, waiting for Cooper to do something.

“Is anything wrong, Cooper?” John teased. “Are you scared?”

“Oh… I don’t think so,” Cooper replied, as an explosion from Cooper’s gun nearly hit John. John covered up his nervous face with a smirk, and said,

“Maybe something is wrong after all. I think you need some aiming lessons.”

Cooper switched to his RPG-13, and with a laugh, let loose a speeding bullet which missed John by millimeters. John let loose a terrified shriek, and then shot his own gun, which hit Cooper’s leg. Cooper looked like he wanted to scream, but maintained his calmness and pretended to yawn.

“John… learn to deal with life,” Cooper taunted.

“I already can,” John laughed, switching to his machine gun, which he pointed at Cooper’s face. “Say, would you like me to shoot this at you?” With a sly grin, Cooper grabbed the weapon from John’s hand, and then managed to hit John with a bullet. John didn’t look hurt, strangely, and pulled out a golden desert eagle. There was a loud bang as he shot it, but Cooper dodged it with ease.

“Tired yet?” Cooper laughed as John missed him again.

“Never in a million years,” John snorted as he reloaded his pistol.

John roared as he shot Cooper in the face, but Cooper recovered and hit John with an arrow, which seemed to have done nothing.

“SUCKER!” John screamed as he hit Cooper in the face with his bare fist. Cooper kicked John in the chest, but as John fell he shot Cooper with a MG-46 solid in the arm. Cooper howled in agony, as John landed a spinning kick on his face. Cooper turned purple with rage and slapped John back in the eye. John didn’t back down, and hit Cooper with a sniper rifle hard in the thigh. Cooper kicked John in the nose, but John ignored the pain and slapped Cooper in the face in pure anger and rage.

They backed off for a minute, panting and puffing, but they still had the same emotion pumping through their blood- revenge. Cooper turned on John and yelled, “YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME? I AM THE ONE AND ONLY COOPER KENSON!”

“YOU SUCK SO BAD!”

“NO I DON’T! YOU LOOK LIKE A BOOGER, EXCEPT SLIGHTLY MORE UGLY!”

“YOU KNOW YOU LOOK LIKE DONKEY KONG FROM MARIO, EXCEPT YOU LOOK MUCH MORE EVIL-“

“I DON’T CARE WHAT I LOOK LIKE! YOU WILL PAY, JOHN CUNOR!”

Cooper smashed his fist into John’s chest, and with a howl of rage, John kicked Cooper backward so hard that he fell down. He quickly got back up, and they glared at each other, anger pumping through their veins.

With a loud cry of rage, Cooper’s foot sped closer and closer to John’s chest, and it slammed into it with so much force that John howled in rage. They glared at each other again, fists closed tightly.

John howled in determination, then ran towards Cooper, with his arm extended, ready to punch Cooper as hard as his body could allow him to. With all his strength, John’s fist barreled into Cooper’s shin with infinite force.

CHAPTER 9: ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS

Cooper had finally recovered from John’s super strong punch, and now he was feeling great, since they had agreed yet again to have a day off from fighting each other. Cooper flipped open his phone at his home base, and saw that his mother was calling him. “Honey?” she said.

“DON’T CALL ME HONEY!”

“Sweetheart?”

“DON’T- CALL- ME- SWEETHART!”

“Cooper, I’m sending you to an anger management class today. You get angry at unessacary times.”

“I NEVER GET MAD AT UNESSACARY TIMES- “

“Sorry, Cooper, off you go!”

Cooper grumbled loudly, but drove to where his mother told him to, then walked in the building and saw a black-haired woman sitting in a chair.

“Hi Cooper!” she said cheerfully. “Sit down!”

“WHY SHOULD I?”

“You can stand if you’d like. Okay, first of all, we need to work on controlling your anger. So, let’s meditate just for a moment.”

“I HATE MEDITATING!”

“Um, okay. Now, close your eyes, and relax. Breathe in and out, in and out, in and out…”

“SHUT UP, IDIOT!”

“Cooper! Don’t be rude!”

“NEVER!”

With a sigh, Cooper’s teacher said, “Alright then, let me ask you a few questions. First of all, what’s your full name?”

“EPIC MAN!”

“Uhh, okay, what grade are you in?”

“NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX, LADY!”

“Please, Cooper, calm down!”

Cooper punched the teacher in the face and screamed, “YOU’RE NOT MY MASTER, YOU STUPID EVIL CREATURE!” Looking rather startled, the teacher said,

“Class over.”

Then, Cooper stormed off, drove back to his home base, and sat in a comfortable sofa. He called his mother, who asked him, “Honey, how was- “

“I TOLD YOU! FOR THE SECOND TIME- DON’T CALL ME HONEY!”

“Cooper, how was the class?”

“IT SUCKED LIKE POOP!”

“Uh, okay, did you learn anything?”

“I LEARNED NOT TO LISTEN TO A WOMAN’S ORDERS!”

Then Cooper hung up, and knew he still had a long day ahead of relaxation.

After packing some weapons to fight with John the next day, and thinking of a clever plan to trash talk him, Cooper screamed at his servants for a minute. Then, Cooper decided to make himself an ice cream cone. After he had fixed one up, he flopped back on the couch and began to enjoy himself.

He sat back and started to relax- for once in a long time.

https://www.nativa-world.com/5iuwya7sj5f CHAPTER 10: THE MINECRAFT WAR

John didn’t understand why Cooper had challenged him to a game of Minecraft. John was the master of Minecraft PVP. He always killed everyone when he fought against someone in the game. He equipped himself with enchanted diamond armor, and a diamond sword. He made sure to bring helpful potions, and some harmful ones to splash Cooper with. He also brought a bow and 3 stacks of arrows, and 30 enchanted golden apples.

Once Cooper was also ready, John typed in chat, You’re going DOWN, sucker! Cooper didn’t reply, and the match started. Cooper attempted to hit John with his sword, but John dodged the blow and hit Cooper with his bow and arrow which was enchanted with Power V. Cooper only lost two hearts since he had extremely strong armor. Quickly, Cooper drank a potion of instant health, but John quickly splashed a potion of slowness on him, causing Cooper to not be able to sprint. Angrily, Cooper shot John with an arrow enchanted with Flame I, which set John on fire. However, John had brought along some buckets of water, and extinguished the flames.

While Cooper was trying to eat a golden apple to restore his strength, John quickly hit Cooper many times with his enchanted diamond sword, which had the enchantments Sharpness V, and Knockback II. Cooper angrily hit John with his own sword, but while he was drinking a potion of swiftness, John quickly drank a potion of invisibility, took off his armor, and held out his bare hand. Cooper was looking around desperately to see where John was, but Cooper seemed to have disappeared. John snuck up behind Cooper, and killed him with his sword. The chat read: CooperIsAwesome987 was killed by JohnRocks56. John typed, Sucker! Cooper had quickly responded, Shut up, butthead! Unfortunately, John’s invisibility potion had run out, and Cooper’s slowness had also worn off. John quickly took his bow and arrow and attempted to shoot Cooper, but Cooper dodged the arrow and shot John with his own bow. Cooper was still at full health, but John only had 5 hearts left. Desperately, John drank a potion of regeneration, and his health began to improve. In a few seconds, he had all his health back. Cooper and John fought like maniacs as they desperately tried to hit each other, shoot each other, and kill each other.

Soon, after what seemed like one million hours of fighting, Cooper was down to 1 heart, while John also had 1 heart left. Cooper managed to shove John into a cactus he had placed, which caused John to be left with 0.5 hearts. John angrily shoved Cooper back, knowing this was his chance to win. This caused Cooper to be left with half a heart as well. They both raised their swords, but John managed to hit Cooper first, and the message in chat said: CooperIsAwesome987 was killed by JohnRocks56. With a rush of anger, Cooper furiously typed to John, I…WILL…GET…YOU!!! John just laughed, and replied back, I still win, loser! Cooper kept protesting in the chat, but John just smiled to himself every single time a protest would pop up that said, NO FAIR, IDIOT, or YOU SUCK, JOHN! John knew he had won, and Cooper knew he had lost. With a malicious laugh, John shut off his computer and went to enjoy himself after winning an awesome battle with Cooper Kenson.

“You may be smart, Cooper,” thought John with a smug grin, “but you’re no match for my Minecraft PVP skills!” And with that, John strode off, still smiling to himself at his great victory.

https://www.omgphotobooth.com.au/w8qdo212 CHAPTER 11: MINECRAFT MINIGAMES

Cooper was furious after losing the PVP battle with John, and had asked him to compete and see who could win more Minecraft minigames. John had agreed, luckily for him. Cooper opened up Minecraft, then quickly typed to John, Sucker, then quickly went with John to take a look at the minigames. After Cooper had finished preparing his materials, he ran to the first event- archery. “This will be EASY!” he thought with a huge grin.

He pulled out a bow and arrow- and failed miserably as he hit a tree many meters away. Hahaha! John laughed in the chat as he managed hit the target right on the edge. Cooper finally managed to aim properly, and hit the center of the target, then boasted in chat, BEAT THAT, YA POOHEAD! John was extremely angry, and furiously began to shoot arrows, but had no luck while Cooper kept hitting the target’s edges perfectly, and sometimes even got it in the exact center. Soon, Cooper had hit the target 34 times, while John had hit it 33 times. John only had one turn left, while Cooper had finished using his turns. John knew if he missed, Cooper would win, and he could not let that happen. John carefully stretched his bow out, and shot his arrow.

It landed about 5 feet away in a grassy area, which was probably because John had closed his eyes, for he had way too much faith in himself. With a sinister laugh, Cooper typed, BEAT YA BY 1 ARROW! IN YOUR FACE, JOHN! John was furious as they moved on to the next event.

The next event was fighting mobs, and Cooper didn’t have much experience fighting them, because he had only practiced PVP. So when a creeper approached him, he thought it was a booger and Cooper laughed and laughed until it blew up and killed him. John was laughing hard in the chat and in real life as he saw the message appear in chat read, CooperIsAwesome987 was blown up by Creeper.

Cooper howled in rage as he realized that John was probably going to record this and put this on YouTube, and name the video something like, “Stupid Kid Thinks Creeper Is Booger.”

Obviously, John ended up winning the event, because Cooper didn’t seem to realize that creepers would kill you. The final event was to see who could build the most awesome roller coaster. Cooper grinned. This was he was best at. All he needed was white and black wool. Soon, Cooper had finished building a troll face, with lots and lots of detail. However, John couldn’t seem to figure out how to build a roller coaster because he was looking through the “Food Tab,” in his inventory, and he didn’t know how to build a roller coaster with apples, or bread.

At the end, the judges had to clear their throats a lot to announce that Cooper had won, since John hadn’t built anything at all. It sounded like this, “And ‘ahem’ Cooper ‘choke, choke’ is the ‘ack’ winner.” But Cooper didn’t care about their choking and coughing and celebrated his great victory. He kept bragging about his epic win in the chat, while John just kicked and screamed in anger at his horrible loss.

Cooper just smiled to himself, and thought, “I beat you this time, John Cunor. I’m just much better at minigames.” And with that, he walked off to celebrate his great victory.

https://www.starcouriernews.com/2023/03/x02rk5rw0e CHAPTER 12: THE COMPETITIONS

As Cooper stepped forward, his heart swelled with pride and confidence. He had challenged John to some competitions in real life, and the first one was the running race. Cooper had been training for weeks, and he was absolutely sure he could win.

As they began to run, Cooper began to fall behind, due to his weight. Since John weighed much less than Cooper, John took the lead. However, Cooper angrily punched him in the nose, and John fell to the ground. Cooper grinned and kept running forward, but in a few seconds John pushed himself back off the ground and began running again. John realized that Cooper was ahead, so he dug a pit ahead of him with his hands and put lava n it. Cooper was so focused on running he fell straight into the pit and John raced ahead, laughing as he sped off. Cooper quickly placed water in the pit, and it countered the lava. Cooper’s body was still smoking with heat, and his entire chest was black.

Ignoring the fact he looked like a rock that could move, Cooper sped forward on his smoky legs. However, John was already ahead of him, once in a while sticking his tongue at Cooper.

Cooper pulled out a whip, and lassoed John, then tied him to a tree. John roared in anger, struggling against the ropes. Cooper quickly ran ahead, but John quickly punched the ropes and they fell to the ground. John sped in front of Cooper, then ducked taped his eyes. Cooper screamed, but kept running- in the wrong direction. Cooper was running toward a nearby pond and John laughed so hard when Cooper fell into it head-on. Cooper angrily ripped the duck tape off, and ran ahead, soon catching up with John. Cooper sped ahead and crossed the finished line a few seconds before John did. Cooper laughed a malicious laugh, and jumped in the air, but in midair John kicked Cooper and John kicked him so hard he flew into the lake and became soaking wet again. John laughed so hard that he fell to the ground, rolling on the race track. Cooper climbed out of the lake, shook some of the water off, then threw John in the lake and celebrated his victory without interruptions.

Later, after Cooper and John had cleaned themselves up, they were ready for the final (or second) competition- the swimming race. John secretly brought out a motorboat on the pool, so when the race started, he took off at super speed. Cooper looked so angry that you would think he was about to explode. But as you know, Cooper was NOT someone who gave up easily. He called for his servants to bring him his private jet, and in a few moments they rushed forward with it. Cooper locked himself inside, then raced off to catch up with John. Shortly, Cooper had caught up, and John and Cooper were frantically racing neck-to-neck. Cooper was so desperate, he jumped onto John’s boat and punched him in the face, then rushed ahead. But John was quickly healing, and raced ahead and won the race.

However, the race wasn’t really a swimming race, because in normal swimming races you usually don’t find two bullies racing around the pool in motorboats and private jets.

Cooper was screaming in fury and rage, but they soon knew it was a tie. They broth glared at each other, thinking, “I’ll get you.” With a cry of rage, they lunged forward, preparing for their biggest war yet.

Order Diazepam India CHAPTER 13: THE BIG WAR

A crowd was beginning to gather as John and Cooper bared their teeth at each other, clearly not in the mood to play “tea party” together or have a nice, relaxing morning at the beach.

“HEY- SCRUB! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET BEATEN UP BY ME?” Cooper yelled in John’s ear. John looked unfazed, and asked back,

“Are you sure your name’s not ‘Dumbo Head?’”

Cooper kicked John so hard in the shin he went flying onto the grass with a loud thump. John was so embarrassed he didn’t say a word. He just looked into Cooper’s eyes, and Cooper was doing the same. They could feel months and months of hatred pouring through their veins. John and Cooper’s muscles were pounding loudly in the chests, screaming, I’ll get you, but for a moment they just stood there, glaring at each other.

Everyone watching them was in absolute silence, but something told them something was about to happen in a few seconds…and something did. John slammed his fist so hard into Cooper’s chest that Cooper yowled and screamed so loudly, neighbors all over town peeked through their windows to see what was causing the giant uproar.

“LISTEN, IDIOT! YOU EITHER SURRENDER TO ME- OR I’LL KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HAND!” Cooper was screaming, and the crowd looked so frightened you would think Bigfoot and suddenly came out of nowhere and was threatening to attack them.

“NEVER, YOU LITTLE- “

“I WILL NOT LEAVE UNTIL YOU’VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON,” Cooper yelled with his fist extended, which moved closer and closer to John’s thigh. John yelled in fury, and lashed out a sharp kick that hit Cooper’s eye. Cooper screamed for a few moments, then slapped John in the leg with full force. John fell to the ground in pain, moaning for a while, but stood up despite the agony. He lumbered over to Cooper, then punching him with rage and fury boiling through his veins, and screamed,

“I WILL GET YOU, COOPER!”

John kicked Cooper and punched him as hard as he could, but Cooper instinctively dodged the attacks and tried to hurt John himself. However, he missed, and John and Cooper were glaring at each other again, standing a foot away from each other, with red-hot anger pumping through every muscle and bone in their body.

“YOU ARE GOING TO PAY!” John yelled angrily.

In sheer mockery, Cooper replied, “Oh, yes, sweetie pie! Do you need me to pay you a couple thousand bucks for your very important teddy bear! Oh yes, the special pink one that comes with dolls as well, now I remember, honey!”

John turned bright red and his cheeks were flushed. He replied with no calmness whatsoever, “NO WONDER YOU HAD TO GO TO ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES! YOU’RE TO STUPID TO GO TO SCHOOL, ANYWAY!”

“I AM NOT STUPID! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE- “

“Why should I?”

Cooper and John turned to each other, faces red in pure fury, but they both walked away, clearly not over their war. It would be a long while until there was peace between them.

Buy Diazepam Legally Uk CHAPTER 14: COOPER’S ULTIMATE PLAN

Cooper was grinning so widely that if his body would allow to stretch that grin as long as he could, it could go about 4 miles. He was absolutely happy that John wasn’t very “smart,” like him. He had things all planned out. His slaves quickly continued building the giant contraption.

Cooper was smiling, and laughing, and soon his was sounding so evil that he seemed to be like Voldemort from “Harry Potter.”

Of course, Cooper was not the smartest person alive, so he did have some things he had to fix. Firstly, what was the chance John would fall into the trap if it was so easy to see and detect with the naked eye? And secondly, what if he fell into it? He kept wondering about this until he walked back a small step, and with terrible luck the spot that he stepped in was the EXACT spot that the trigger to the trap was. Cooper wailed and screamed as he was help 15,000 feet in the air, and his servants all looked up, but soon all they could see was a small dot in the sky as the machine lifted him high and higher then whacked him with a small machine that hit with the weight of ten times more then him. Unfortunately, Cooper was not prepared for this, so he screamed and yelled so loud that John could hear him moaning, and was laughing hard when he saw Cooper from his base window.

After what seemed like a year of pain, Cooper was thrown into a tank full of ice cold water, and Cooper was so cold that he felt as if a thick coat of ice was on each muscle and bone in him. After another decade of waiting, he was pushed into a dimly lit cage, and he could see his servants outside.

But what deeply and truly angered him was that they were laughing! They were really enjoying the face he was angry, wet, cold, and hurt. He yelled in rage, but the cage was soundproof, so no one heard him except Cooper himself. Besides, even if the cage wasn’t soundproof, you wouldn’t be able to hear a thing due to the fact that his servants were laughing so loudly that halfway across the world you could hear them.

After another two million centuries, his servants finally brought him out of the tank, and he was fuming with red hot anger as he scolded his servants. However, the word “scolding” didn’t really cover the whole thing, since it was WAY harsher.

“-YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I WILL GET YOU IF YOU DON’T-” Cooper was screaming so loudly that his servants suddenly forgot the funniness of Cooper falling into is own trap. They nodded obediently, said a quick “Yes, Master,” and went right back to work on building painful material for John, just in case it was needed.

Cooper explained his plan quietly to himself while his servants quietly worked on the project. “After John is trapped in the cage,” he whispered quietly, “I’ll make him eat a crumb of bread every six hours, like most of my low-class servants. He’ll have to wash my toilets, make me food, and bow to me every single time he sees me. And best of all, he’ll have to call me “Master Cooper.” It will be AWESOME!”

Cooper happily pranced off to relax, while he thought about how miserable John would be once his plan succeeded.

https://www.wavysurfcamp.com/pl4gkpcl92r CHAPTER 15: TRAPS

Cooper and John were once again looking at each other, and they both had a few traps and tricks up their sleeves. John stepped backwards- and fell right into one of Cooper’s traps. Cooper smirked as a crane lifted John into the air, and then dropped him into a small cage with iron bars. With a snap of his fingers, his servants quickly carried John away. John screamed and screamed, but Cooper’s servants paid him no attention.

* * * * * *

John was in a small cage. He didn’t like it, of course, and he secretly was trying not to scream. He quickly took out a small knife. It was extremely powerful, and he scraped it against the bars of the metal. Nothing happened, and John nearly yelled in absolute rage, but he didn’t, since he knew if he did, Cooper would know he was defeated. Ignoring the anger inside him, John continued to scrape against the bars of the small prison with his knife.

After what seemed like an eternity later, John had finally made a dent in the bars. It was already one millimeter deep! “Only about one million more millimeters to go,” John thought bitterly, continued to scrape at the metal. Suddenly, he thought of a plan. “What if I just blow the bars up?” he thought, a grin forming on his face. “I’ll get out of here, and it’ll be really fast!” But then a small voice told him something in his head. “And, John,” the voice said, “you’ll blow yourself up and kill yourself too! How exciting! This plan is the best plan I’ve ever-“

“BE QUIET!” John told the imaginary voice in his mind, but he realized the “voice” had a point. He’d kill himself as well if he blew the bars up. He needed a better solution to this. Also, John knew soon enough Cooper and his idiotic, so called “army” would be coming to torture him. So, he used his emergency drill to help himself get out of the cage. Once he was truly free, he snuck out of the cage, out of Cooper’s base, and back to his own. He started up his private jet, and began to fly towards Cooper’s base again to investigate his things. Soon enough, he had set a few traps near Cooper’s base, and was intently watching through a large window to see if something would happen. He peered through the glass to find Cooper step on a trip wire, and laughed as he was tied to a rope, and the rope was tied to a nearby tree. Cooper was stuck there, since the machine, or trap John had set had removed all of Cooper’s weapons, so Cooper didn’t have a knife or another tool to use to cut himself out of the tight ropes.

* * * * * *

Cooper was about to slap himself in the face with full force in anger, and was already biting on his hand to resist the urge. Since he was biting on his hand, he couldn’t talk properly.

“I-sh will get-sh John-sh!” he grumbled angrily. He tried to use his karate skills to kick open the ropes, but he ended up kicking himself in the leg and howled in pain. After all, he had used his 900 or so pounds to try to do that. He attempted to punch the ropes open, and actually did it! “Yes!” he thought, raising his fist in triumph.

Cooper walked to his base, preparing for John’s next trap. He took a step forward to talk to his servants about his plans- and fell right into another trap. He screamed as he was lifted up once more, and he braced himself for what would come up next.

CHAPTER 16: PAYBACK

Cooper yelped in shock and terror as he was pushed into a hole in the ground, then shoved deeper and deeper into the ground. All of a sudden, the machine stopped moving him, and Cooper was relieved until he realized John was standing right in front of him, laughing.

“You will now be my personal slave.” John laughed, “but of you refuse, I don’t mind. I’ll just leave you there forever, let you starve or something!”

“NO YOU WON’T! I’LL GET OUT SOON!”

“And how?” John replied back, looking smug.

“I’ll…ahh…er…- “

“You don’t know, don’t you?”

“OH YES I DO- “

“Bye, sucker!”

And with that, John had left the underground tunnel, and had traveled to another one. Cooper growled in frustration, and punched and kicked the metal see through cage. “Will- get- John,” he muttered as he banged angrily on the cage. Nothing happened, and Cooper was about to scream when he realized John had come back from, well, whatever he was doing.

“Oh, Cooper,” John said, “here’s you daily meal!” John passed a crumb of bread to Cooper and Cooper screamed in outrage, fury, and disbelief.

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, IDIOT!” Cooper yelled so loudly he was shaking with the sound vibrations. John just laughed, and replied,

“You’ll get used to it.”

“NEVER!”

“SHUT UP OR I’LL TAKE AWAY YOUR CRUMB OF BREAD!”

Cooper burped, then replied, “I ATE IT ALREADY!”

John looked slightly embarrassed, then turned around and walked the other direction. When John had left, Cooper gave the metal one last kick, and it shattered. An alarm went off, and John was quickly yelling at his servants to get Cooper. Alarms were flashing and screeching as Cooper began to try to make his escape. Cooper climbed out of the underground tunnels, and staring to run.

“I think everything’s over,” Cooper thought to himself, but suddenly a guard caught him by the ankles, and punched him in the eye. Cooper said nothing, and didn’t look hurt the least bit. Instead of screaming in absolute pain, Cooper kicked the guard so hard he flew all the way back to the tunnels. Cooper sighed, clearly relieved as he rested under a tree.

“I’m too strong for you, John,” Cooper thought triumphantly as he watched John yak to his servants about how terrible and dumb they had been. Cooper stood back up and went back to his base. “I need a way to trap John,” Cooper thought, scratching his forehead. Then he thought of an idea. HE drew a small sketch of a contraction, and told his servants to build it in 5 seconds. They looked a little nervous, then agreed with shaky voices, “Y-yes, master J-John.”

“One! Two! Three! Four…FIVE! Are you idiots done or not?” Cooper screamed, while his servants hadn’t started the build the contraption. He gave them extension, and after awhile they had built his requested design.

“Just wait until John falls into this,” Cooper thought with a grin as he flopped down on a couch to relax.

CHAPTER 17: COOPER’S COMEBACK

John was happily relaxing on his couch, and when he stepped forward to make himself an ice cream sundae, there was a repetitive clicking sound, and John wondered what was going on. Before he could ponder one thought, a rope hooked onto his shirt collar and he was thrust in a few minutes to Cooper’s base at what seemed like light speed.

“So,” Cooper sneered once John had arrived at his base, “did you enjoy your ride?”

“YOU-“

“Don’t worry, you can be my servant soon. But for now,” Cooper laughed as he pressed a button on a remote, “enjoy this!”

John was thrust into a small cage, and John laughed for a minute. “Copying my tricks, eh?”

He quickly took a small pair of scissors, and smashed the glass cage open. “Nice try,” John said, pretending to yawn in boredom. “Learn to be an expert, you stupid-“ Before John could say anything else, Cooper had pressed a second button on his remote, and John went flying out of Cooper’s base.

John whirled around to see that he was flying underground- and there was a large ditch he was placed into. He screamed, and furiously tried to climb out of the hole, but it was 9 feet 6 inches, which was not very easy to climb out of, even for a person like John. John screamed, and yelled, and even started to pound on the dirt walls of his “prison.”

“AAAAGGGHHH!” he shrieked, and as he forcefully banged on his one hundred seventy eighth piece of dirt of the day. Suddenly, there was a cave in, and John guessed it probably had something to do with him hitting the walls. He screamed as large chunks of dirt fell on him, and he was yelling so loudly that soon he felt like he couldn’t talk anymore. His voice raspy, he screamed into his walkie-talkie: “HELP ME!”

In about five seconds, his servants lifted John out of the hole, and he gasped and panted. Unfortunately for him, Cooper had a camera in the hole, so he was able to see the entire accident that had happened. John could imagine Cooper in his base, choking in malicious laughter, and just screaming in absolute delight.

John knew that Cooper had won this round. But he would get him back- that was certain. His fists began to ball up was he thought of the death-defying traps and tricks he would play on his archenemy.

I’ll get him, John thought so angrily that his heart nearly blew to pieces. “I will get you!” he muttered, sitting down on a small chair. Suddenly, John had a great idea. He sketched a machine. “I’ll shrink him!” he thought excitedly. “That’ll definitely stop that idiot from-“

John was interrupted when Cooper burst through the door, laughing. “I saw your amazing experience, idiot!”

“SHUT YOUR-“

“Ohh, make me!”

John and Cooper stood neck to neck and eventually walked away, both beginning to hate each other as much as students hated bullies.

The war between John and Cooper wouldn’t be over in a very long time, all right. It seemed like it would go on forever.

CHAPTER 18: THE FIGHT

John hated being followed. He wasn’t a big fan of being stupid, looking stupid, or sounding stupid. In fact, he hated it when anyone called him any type of stupid. Of course, the only time he liked hearing the word stupid was when someone else called Cooper stupid. Even better, when people called Cooper “an extreme idiot.” Well, you get the idea.

John was happily searching through his collection of “I HATE COOPER” posters when Cooper burst into his base for what seemed like the hundredth time.

“HI, NOOB!” Cooper yelled, and John pulled out a small machine.

“This thing will trap whoever I point it at,” John smirked. He pointed the machine at Cooper, and pressed a button. He laughed, until he realized he was holding the thing backwards and let out a horrified scream of terror.

Luckily, John managed to press the “EMERGENCY SHUT OFF BUTTON” before he trapped himself. “Phew!” he thought, as Cooper grabbed him and threw him out the window. John angrily brought out a robot, and told it, “Get that ugly boy Cooper out of my house!”

“Request denied.” the robot replied.

“WHATT?” John yelled. He smashed the robot to smithereens, and stormed back into his base. He stomped on Cooper’s head, and then tied him to a pole. Cooper was about to break free when John pulled out a blindfold and wrapped it around Cooper’s head. Cooper yanked it off and saw that John was running toward his private jet!

“I WILL NOT LET YOU GO WITHOUT PAYBACK, FRIEND!” Cooper protested, climbing into his own jet and zooming off after John. Cooper launched a missile at John’s ship, but missed.

John was preparing to actually jump onto Cooper’s ship, but when he did, 400 pounds of weight contradicted against him, and he fell one hundred fifty feet to the ground. “Oww...” he muttered as he slowly rose of the concrete floor.

Meanwhile, Cooper was laughing so hard he too fell right out of his private jet and next to John with a loud bonk! John laughed so hard he rolled around on the floor, choking with laughter.

Cooper was not amused.

“SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE BRAT!” Cooper angrily told John.

“WHY?”

“BECAUSE…I SAID SO!!!”

“WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?”

“BECAUSE-“

John kicked Cooper in the chest and he went flying backward. John stomped on Cooper, but Cooper just kicked John from below and he flew all the way into the Pacific Ocean and was never seen again.

Just kidding.

John and Cooper glared at each other for what seemed like two million eons (An eon is like an ENTERNITY.) They walked back to their homes, clearly thinking one thing, “I’ll get you soon, sucker.”

CHAPTER 19: WEIRD TEAMWORK

Cooper was really, really evil. He had planned something so utterly wicked that John had agreed to join in. For the first time in what seemed like centuries, they would be working together.

“ALRIGHT!” Cooper yelled at John. “I GIVE THE ORDERS. YOU NEED TO GO- “

“WHAT? I THOUGHT I GAVE THE ORDERS! AND I DO! SO SHUT UP!”

“WELL, TOO BAD! NOW GO OR YOU’RE FIRED!

“YOU CAN’T FIRE ME!”

“FINE! THEN WE BOTH GIVE THE ORDERS!”

John and Cooper quickly agreed to the proposal, and began their secret plan to build two helicopters that they could use to destroy the earth.

“STEP ONE! BUY TWO HELICOPTERS!” Cooper screamed.

It was particularly easy to do so, since they had stolen so much money robbing banks. “Now,” John agreed, “we test them.”

Due to the fact that John wasn’t very smart, he clomped his fist on the “SUCIDE BUTTON,” which he thought would start the motor.

BOOM! John fell to the ground, gasping and choking.

However, Cooper was furious. “THAT COST LIKE- TWO MILLION BUCKS, YOU STUPID- “

John kicked Cooper in the shin before he could say another word.

Just to be safe, he used heavy duty duck-tape to secure Cooper’s lips. “MMPH MMPPPH! MMMMPH!” Cooper yelled, but John ignored him and got to work on testing Cooper’s helicopter. By the time Cooper had finally managed to rip the duck tape off his mouth, John had already finished the design.

“WOW!” Cooper said with a grin, impressed, until he realized John had put a permanent sticker on the window that said “I AM STUPID. KICK ME!” He growled, but when he tried to rip it off it wouldn’t budge.

“SHOOT!” he thought, attempting to kick the window. As he did, the window shattered to pieces and Cooper thought, “Darn!” As Cooper ordered his servants to build a new window to replace the once that had been destroyed, John was roaring with laughter on the grass.

“SHUT UP!” Cooper scolded him, wagging a 100-pound finger at John’s face, clearly extremely upset.

“NEVER!”

“YOU’RE IN TROUBLE NOW!”

“SAYS WHO?”

“SAYS ME!”

John in Cooper ended up smashing the other helicopter to pieces, so not only was their idea ruined, their teamwork was officially horrible.

John and Cooper agreed to never work together again, for THAT would be a disaster.

CHAPTER 20: THE CLASSIC FIGHT

John was incredibly talented… at being dumb. He told terrible knock-knock jokes. (His best one was “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “ME, AWESOME BOY!”) And… 99% of his brain was focused on one thing…getting revenge.

John stomped around, screaming, “GET TO WORK, YOU (not very nice word (like stupid)) -PEOPLE! NOW!” His servants banged harder on the contraption they were building. John was always screaming at people…and no one knew why.

Even though he was really rich, John wasn’t the smartest person alive. Meanwhile, Cooper was secretly placing a rope around John’s shoe. He gave it a big YANK, and John flew into a pit of lava. IT wasn’t very pretty.

SIZZLE! GRUNT! SZZZ! YOUCH!

Cooper laughed and laughed as John finally managed to push himself back out of the pit. John shoved Cooper into the pit, and Cooper wasn’t much happier.

SIZZLE! GRUNT! SZZ YOUCH!

For some strange reason, though, John and Cooper were getting tired of fighting with each other all the time. Cooper told John,

“How about a classic fight- with water balloons- and eggs.”

John immediately agreed, and the fight began. John launched ten dozens of eggs at Cooper, and he became drenched in yolk and paste as the eggs cracked, John threw a water balloon at Cooper- but accidently burst the water balloons in in the process and slipped on the water with a loud CRASH!

Cooper laughed, and showered John with two billion or so water balloons. John yelped, clearly not enjoying this. John quickly searched through a book titled: “What To Do If A Boy Named Cooper Kenson Is Showering You With Water Balloons/Eggs,” and found that he should yell, “MAMA!”

And so that’s what John did. “MAMA!” he yelled, before realizing that in the next paragraph the text said “Joking!” He nearly fainted from embarrassment, but managed to slap Cooper in the face, not caring if he was breaking any rules. “Who cares if I’m not allowed to use my fists? Now I can! Why? I said so!” And the fight continued, with water spraying everywhere, people screaming, and egg sauce pouring all over John and Cooper’s bodies. John decided that it was time for him to gain some weight. So he bit on Cooper’s arm, to grow fatter. Just as he was about to swallow it, Cooper opened his mouth and before John knew what was happening, he sucked John’s head in his own mouth.

“YAAAAH!” John screamed as his nose was chewed. He wrenched back his head and Cooper pulled his hand out of John’s mouth.

John and Cooper turned around and ran, the big war not over yet.

“I’ll get you, Cooper!” John thought, with a smirk on his face. “Oh yes, I have a special surprise for you…”

And with that, he stalked around and turned to his base.