The Oldest Debate Ever (No offense to dogs this is a joke)

The Oldest Debate Ever (No offense to dogs this is a joke) Hey guys, what’s up, it’s Rich, and today I’m going to be arguing the oldest debate ever: Cats vs. Dogs. After doing extensive research on the ups and downs of both, it was clear that 95% of people wanted Cats, 0% wanted dogs, and 5% didn’t care. So, I’ll be telling you why cats are INFINITELY (∞) better than dogs.

Buy Diazepam Canada To begin, I’ll start by saying why dogs aren’t that good. I mean, people say stuff like, “OH! MY PUPPY IS SO LOYAL AND CUTE!!!!!” –Kate, age 13. “My puppy licks me every time I get home! He’s so adorable!” – Nada, age 5. I’m sorry, but this is definitely not true. Have you heard of doggy death syndrome? Yeah, me neither, but apparently all dogs have it. This means that they’ll die within 10 years. However, their tongue has a special ability called Sap Sipper. This means every 1000 times they lick you, you get 1 day cut off your life, and they get +1 year for their lives. This proves how annoying, evil, and non-loyal dogs are. That one day that your dog has stolen from you could have been the day you finally killed a pig in Minecraft! Also, I don’t know how the whole cute thing got started. Did you know that dogs wear 50 masks to disguise their true faces? It’s true! I found this out from, which is the trustworthiest source around! This proves how dumb dogs really are. To continue, I’ll talk about lies people say about cats that are not true. “My cat shoved me over the edge of the map into the void!” – Steve, ageless. “The stupid cat attacked my dog! That dumb cat yowled its face off and then PEED on my dog! How stupid are dogs anyways?” –iSongs developer. I’m sorry, but the first quote is definitely a lie. I used my lie detector to find out this information. To continue, the next quote is also false. After all, iSongs isn’t even a real company! This proves how awesome cats are.

Finally, I’ll talk about the great upsides of cats. Ok, has anyone ever seen a cute dog video? NOOOOOO NEVER! Also, my YouTube says I’ve spent 100 hours watching cat videos. You hear that? CAT VIDEOS! You know how many views the best dog video has? 500 views! The best cat video has 9324879238493284299293482948293849289894823984923849832948 views! The only downside is after I finished watching the cat videos, my mom started yelling at me for procrastinating, whatever that is. She must have been so proud of me! I mean, procrastinating does start with the word pro! Also, another upside is that cats pee in the litter box, while dogs poop on your face. Did you here that??? POOP ON YOUR FACEEEEE. This is why cats are definitely better than dogs. To conclude, I <3 cats. These are the reasons why u should definitely buy a cat instead of a dog. Of course, this doesn’t explain why I have 50 dogs, but still…. cats for the win!!!!!